Or “Luxury, boredom and the big, gray sea – days on the Atlantic” on a cruise ship.
Day 1 * Day 2 * Day 3 – Settling in
We left the USA on March 8th and are heading to Barcelona, Spain, on a cruise ship across the Atlantic. The bikes are in the cabin, the luggage is somehow stowed away and we try to settle in. We raid the buffets somewhat frantically, eat in the board restaurants where the chair is pushed under your back and the napkin is placed on your lap. I try my hand at jogging and the swimming pool. There has to be some way to make the most of the day. And then various snacks in between.
Day 4 – Trapped on a floating shopping center
Madness. We are bored.
I take the elevator to the 14th floor. This ship has 16 decks – or rather 15, because the 13th is missing. Superstition. We are staying on deck 6, pretty much in the middle. Supposedly the best location for not getting seasick.
For writing, I looked for a lounge on the 14th floor. On the way there, I met a lady in the elevator who taught me a new word: Rackin’. This probably means that the ship is rocking a lot today. And indeed: the passengers around me are swaying like after a happy hour on an empty stomach.
Now I’m sitting here, trying to write and staring at the sea. Gray sea, gray sky, every now and then a ray of sunshine that makes everything sparkle silver. Pretty, but I’ve seen it for five days now. At least the sea changes color from time to time.
So we’re on our way from Florida to Barcelona. 14 days on the water. And only four are over. Help.
Day 5 – Occupational therapy on the high seas
Yes, many of you wished us a nice trip. “Enjoy it!” they said. Yes. The only problem is: the adventure factor of our trip has dropped from 80 % (USA – still cycling after all) to 5 %. And that means: boredom.
On the first day on the cruise ship, we still took part dutifully: Sport in the gym, guided meditations, swimming, eating, eating, eating. Sometimes buffet, sometimes bistro, sometimes restaurant. The latter requires fine clothes, so I take out my lipstick. Klaus looks at me as if I’ve announced that I’m now going to stalk through the engine room in high heels. “Do you have… LIPPSTICK?” We laugh through our tears.
Our room is cleaned twice a day. EVERY. DAMN. DAY. And each time the comforter is tucked neatly under the mattress as if I have to survive in a hospital bed. I pull it out every time – a small act of rebellion.
The staff are incredibly friendly. Still. I wonder if it will stay that way when we get closer to the end of the journey and all the passengers have finally gone mad.
It feels a bit like going to the hairdresser: small talk is compulsory. But the crew do an incredible job. If you’re missing something here on the ship – no matter what it is – all you have to do is ask, and bang, someone will run and get it for you.
The cruise ship, a floating shopping center with a sea view.
This ship is 300 meters long, somehow absurdly high and carries over 3000 passengers plus 1500 crew members from 64 countries. A small floating town with a travel agency, casino, theater, beauty salon and hairdresser and, of course, plenty of shopping opportunities.
But you know what’s missing? Self-determination.
I like simple things. Small pieces of chocolate that melt in your mouth. Yes, there are chocolate cakes, chocolate tarts, chocolate pudding, hot chocolate – but it’s all too fancy. I just want a piece of normal chocolate.
Or a simple fried egg for breakfast. But no, there are ALWAYS two eggs. If I only want one, the chef looks at me as if I’ve asked for a three-tier cake. EVERYTHING on this ship is designed for “lots and lots more”. I’ll only be using mini plates from tomorrow. A small attempt to regain control.
But even if I manage that: the smell of freshly baked bread is missing. The sizzling sound of vegetables in the pan. The wind on my skin. Everything that makes a real travel experience.
Instead, we glide across the ocean like a fat, cozy whale. 3000 people, safely packed in a huge tourist tupperware container. When it gets windy outside or a few drops fall, the deck is suddenly deserted. “Uncomfortable!” they say.
Uncomfortable?! Tell that to my tent, which froze in sub-zero temperatures in Florida. Or my sleeping bag in the desert at 45 degrees.
Never cruise on a cruise ship again?
I can’t meditate enough to stand it. But it was the best option for getting back to Europe. Flying would hardly have been cheaper, and stowing our bikes as puzzles in boxes – no thanks.
Traveling in thought
So we used the time to look back on our trip around the world. Two countries a day. Memories of places we loved. Armenia, for example – full of surprises. Or India – an absolute favorite. We love the feeling of being in the middle of the drama of everyday life.
And what about the food?
Here on the ship there are strawberries, blackberries and raspberries in abundance. Morning, noon and night. But none of us will remember them later. What remains is the taste of that ONE juicy, perfect peach in Armenia, which we were perhaps even given as a gift.
Day 6 – Reality check
Okay, I admit: I was a bit unfair yesterday.
Maybe my hormones and my inner control freak started a little revolt together. Maybe it’s just a luxury problem. After all, there were times when I didn’t want to see any more new countries, experience any more adventures or face any more challenges. And now I have exactly that – and I’m unhappy again?
That’s crazy. But I felt better after writing. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up on a cruise like this again.
Maybe this one is just too long. The Atlantic is huge. This ship chugs along at 30 km/h – doesn’t sound slow, but it feels like an endless Sunday in the provinces.
Oh yes, and the smell of chlorine. You simply can’t smell the sea. Not at all. Instead, it smells like a pool, disinfectant and too many all-you-can-eat buffets.
So now I’m doing sport like crazy. Swimming, rowing, stretching – morning and evening. Eating less also helps. Just one soup in the evening yesterday – bang, my mood improved.
And the time changes are annoying.
Six times an hour earlier – that messes everything up.
But the reviews of our almost three years trip? They’re fantastic. India remains our favorite – lively, chaotic, colorful. Muslim-influenced countries? Less our thing. Too much religion, too little street life. Of course we had some nice encounters, but we miss the feeling of being part of a play there.
We still have 9 days to look back on 20 countries. And then the new chapter begins: back in Europe. No more visas, no more foreign currency, no more border controls. Instead, 2000 km through Spain, France and Germany.
And then at some point we are back in Berlin. Part of everyday life again. No longer the crazy people on the bike. And who knows? Maybe Klaus and I will just sit somewhere on the side of the road in Berlin, set up our stove, brew the best instant coffee in the world and discuss the big questions in life.
I’m looking forward to it. But for now: I enjoy the sea.
Day 7 – Luxury and boredom in lockstep
It’s getting cooler, the sky is gray, the wind is picking up. A disaster for sun worshippers on board – a stroke of luck for us. The swimming pool? Quasi private. The daily rhythm? Well-established: sport, food, pool, food, computer, food, travel debriefing, food, table tennis, movie, sleep.
Petty small talk about the weather and food, but we feel good. You get used to luxury faster than you think. Gym in the morning, then raspberries with yoghurt, a first coffee – very civilized. Then pool action in the storm, the water sloshing, the wind whistling – almost like an adventure vacation! Then a hot shower, a freshly made bed, new towels – and another trip to the buffet. It’s almost frightening how quickly sweet idleness feels normal.
Day 8 – Rocking without nausea
The daily schedule is set and feels amazingly good by now. Not a trace of boredom. Instead, we marvel at the calmness of the ship despite the swell. I had prepared myself for seasickness – from ginger to high-tech plasters. I was dizzy for the first few days, but everything is fine now.
Our curiosity leads us to the question: why is the cruise ship so stable? A tour that would explain this costs a whopping $155, so it’s better to ask Google. The answer: stabilizers. Sounds plausible, but a real “please explain” topic.
Day 9 – Land of milk and honey with a price tag
The food? Unbelievable. Israeli, Greek, Indian, Italian – there’s everything. Fish, meat, cheese, salads in all variations, gluten-free breads, various types of milk. 25,000 meals a day – you have to digest that first.
We didn’t book the drink flat rate. It would cost almost $90 per person per day. The alcoholic version. Extrapolated to the entire crossing: $1,260 per person. No thanks. At least water and juices are free – as long as they are not specially prepared. There is also an ice cream parlor. Vegan chocolate ice cream? Still to be tested.
Day 10 – Gray as far as the eye can see
The sea: gray. The sky: gray. The horizon: gray. Only the whitecaps shimmer turquoise. We are somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic, just before the Strait of Gibraltar. Only 20 kilometers of water between Europe and Africa. Another 1,500 kilometers to go. 7,500 kilometers to Barcelona. And nothing but water around us.
Day 11 – Land in sight, but…
Two more stops: Gibraltar and Mallorca. Enthusiasm? Fair enough. But well, let’s get out for a bit before continuing. The first stop in Bermuda was a disappointment. Shopping instead of city strolls, commerce instead of charm. Hopefully Gibraltar and Mallorca will do better. But we’re actually just looking forward to Barcelona – and to finally being able to set our own pace again.
Day 12 – Gibraltar
Shore excursion was okay
Day 13 – Mallorca
We don’t disembark after all, but instead I eat the vegan chocolate ice cream. Well, it tastes different, but at least there is a variant. There’s also one without sugar. I can’t quite figure it out what the sense is of having ice cream without sugar, but well…
Day 14 – Barcelona
We are back in Europe and roll off the ship with our fully loaded bikes to Barcelona, Spain. We’ve made it, we’re back and a few tears are rolling down my cheeks.
Just some thought about „Cruise ship“: The floating amusement park with environmental turbo
Welcome aboard, dear sailors! Don’t worry, our ship is equipped with the latest lurching keels and stabilizers – they don’t prevent pitching, but at least we don’t roll over the waves like a drunken penguin. Practical, isn’t it?
While we feast comfortably on the all-you-can-eat buffet, we consume the energy of a small town. No need to worry – after all, the air conditioning is running at full blast to keep the pool on the sun deck nice and cool. Speaking of food: If the dessert doesn’t taste good, don’t panic! There is 16 tons of food waste every week anyway, so just pick up the next plate. Sustainability? Pffff, we’re on the high seas, not in an eco-village!
The environment is not really happy about our carbon footprint
A week’s cruise emits as much CO₂ into the air as driving from Berlin to Cape Town and back by car. And the air quality? Well, a cruise ship emits as much particulate matter every day as a million cars. It’s a bit like a big city – only on the water and with a better buffet.
Safety is also a big issue, of course. If someone gets lost on board (which happens about 20 times a year), we just hope that he or she is a good swimmer. So there are many ways to enjoy a cruise ship – you just have to know whether you prefer the buffet, the particulate matter or the high seas.
For my part, I’m looking forward to getting back on two wheels soon. After all, nobody has lost our bike yet – and it doesn’t burn heavy fuel either!
For us, taking this cruise ship back to Europe was the easiest and most relaxed option. We booked a few months in advance, stayed flexible with the departure and arrival ports, as well as the travel date. A good friend of ours who works in a travel agency helped us find this repositioning cruise ship. The price was 1,100 EUR per person — including accommodation, food, and transport. A flight, considering our luggage and bicycles, would have cost around 800 EUR, so this felt like a much better deal for the overall experience.
Overall, the food was really something 🙂
The cruise ship company which allowed to take the bicycles was the Celebrity Cruises